Tuesday, June 1, 2010

facing anxiety

This morning in my email from "Daily Good" I received word of a young man from NYC who gave up his job as a civil engineer to walk across the country. In reading his story which is ongoing right now, I was impressed with his ability to face his fears and act on his dream. You can follow him at http://www.imjustwalkin.com

I am an introspective person who is always finding messages in the small universe I inhabit, so I took his story to heart. No, I don't dream about walking across the country, although I most certainly agree with his stance of paying attention to small details instead of letting life whiz by. I was most affected by his admission that he was acting on his desires despite his anxiety. This is a good reminder to me, not only in my daily life, but as an encompassing mood for my studio.

I finished a painting last week that seemed to come from an intuitive leap of faith, and I have been savoring the result, while wondering if I can get back into my studio with anything approaching that freedom. It has been several days since I have squeezed out any paint on my palette and I have to acknowledge that I am anxious about starting anew. I have two beginning paintings that have been in the same state of incompletion since I diverted to the last one.

How can I possibly NOT proceed now that I have read about Matt's adventure? If he can set out to walk from one side of our country to the other, without any preconceived notions of what the possibilities are, then surely I can take a deep breath and walk into my studio, anticipating the journey ahead.


  1. Carol, with your talent, you have a ready arsenal to stare down that anxiety and conquer it.
    I feel it now, after enjoying the workshop with Rebecca, you, et al.
    What happens when I try the technique in my studio alone? Will I miss the good group mojo going on? What if...?
    But as soon as I can, I'm dedicating an afternoon to facing those fears and putting paint on a surface. And while I work, I'll be replaying memories of you and the others in that warm little room, studiously scraping, rubbing, and mixing...
    So none of us have to face those fears alone.
    Hugs ~

  2. I know what you mean! Somehow, like Pavlov's dog, when we start laying on the wax it will all come back, the comraderie and experimentation. Keep in touch with your OWN mojo! We all have it, I am certain.