Tuesday, May 29, 2012

earth energy

Groggy with remembered dreams I opened my front door this morning and let the silvery trill of a mockingbird invite me into my mossy yard under the old oak tree.  This behemoth shelters uncountable squirrels, blue jays and numerous unidentified visitors, so I've been learning to stand under its protective arms and just "be" in my little corner of the world.

Bird songs smoothed my bed rumpled mind as the earth filled me with patient stillness.  All the creatures accepted my presence without quibbling.  Even mama cat, the feral I've tried to woo with friendship to no avail, didn't budge from her comfortable resting position near the ivied fence.

I returned inside feeling nurtured by nature and sat down to read a daily dose of words that awaken my desire to make the most of each day.  I've carved out a little space in my studio where I've collected objects that carry a sense of my history inside them.  There are stones from Italy and other places I've visited that affected me deeply.  I've included totemic objects from my daughters' childhoods, little gifts from old friends and family, and inspirational quotes.  On the periphery of this shelf are small books I love, colorful ribbons I've earned at art shows, and the solid metal disks retrieved at the conclusion of my radiation treatments, all reminding me of who I've been and how I've become the me I am today.

And what is today for me?  What will I save?  A concrete "thing?"  Or will it be a word or two, written with morning hopefulness?  Perhaps it will be the result I see when I move the paint on a work in progress.  It might tell me "I am enough, just the way I am.  Keep me."

I do know that what I wish for most today is that I remember to breathe.  To breathe in my gratitude and the earth energy that rose like sap through my cells as I stood still in my mossy place, drinking in squirrel chatter and bird music washed by moist morning air.