facing anxiety

This morning in my email from "Daily Good" I received word of a young man from NYC who gave up his job as a civil engineer to walk across the country. In reading his story which is ongoing right now, I was impressed with his ability to face his fears and act on his dream. You can follow him at http://www.imjustwalkin.com

I am an introspective person who is always finding messages in the small universe I inhabit, so I took his story to heart. No, I don't dream about walking across the country, although I most certainly agree with his stance of paying attention to small details instead of letting life whiz by. I was most affected by his admission that he was acting on his desires despite his anxiety. This is a good reminder to me, not only in my daily life, but as an encompassing mood for my studio.

I finished a painting last week that seemed to come from an intuitive leap of faith, and I have been savoring the result, while wondering if I can get back into my studio with anything approaching that freedom. It has been several days since I have squeezed out any paint on my palette and I have to acknowledge that I am anxious about starting anew. I have two beginning paintings that have been in the same state of incompletion since I diverted to the last one.

How can I possibly NOT proceed now that I have read about Matt's adventure? If he can set out to walk from one side of our country to the other, without any preconceived notions of what the possibilities are, then surely I can take a deep breath and walk into my studio, anticipating the journey ahead.

tie-breaker

"The Lightness of Being", 30 x 40" oil on canvas

This morning I drove to Pickens, South Carolina with two of my paintings for submission to the Pickens County Museum of Art and History's 31st annual juried exhibition. As always, my hopes are high to be included in the selection of the juror. I am doing my part in following the advice of an art marketing workshop I attended to "Get your work out there!" This is the fifth juried exhibition I've entered since January and it will be the tie-breaker. I was rejected from two exhibitions and accepted into two exhibitions.

Entering these competitions for recognition and exposure entails a great deal of work and expense. In some cases, the actual paintings are delivered to the exhibiting facility so that the juror can see them in person, rather than in a digital file. In other cases, the exhibition committee prefers digital submissions that have to be formatted in a very specific way. Whether I am sitting at my computer or driving 90 miles, like I did this morning, the business of getting my work "out there" is quite time consuming. If one or both of my paintings are rejected in Pickens, I will be driving another 90 mile morning next week.

Finding a balance between creating my work and "getting it out there" is an ongoing dilemma. I want to be in my studio, not filling my day with the tasks of entering shows. Yet I understand that the more people who can see my work, the more opportunities I have to sell it. And getting into juried exhibitions adds to my "saleability." Wish me luck!

cross pollination

My mother loved african violets. At one time, years ago, she had a collection of over 100 different plants. Not long before she passed away, I brought two of them home. One was a large "double white", and the other was a "single deep pink." Over the years I've propagated these violets from broken leaves and have separated countless plants into new pots to give to friends and family. Currently, on a shelf over my kitchen sink, I have some beauties. One of them is kind of magical to me. I'm no biologist, and can't explain how it happens, but somehow I've grown a "double shell pink." It is obvious to me that by some alchemy the deep pink and the white have come together in a masterful new creation.

This cross pollination can also occur in art. An artist never lives in a vacuum, and if you are like me, you look at art everywhere: museums, galleries, on the web, in friend's studios, and in a different way, in nature and architecture. Ideas and images recirculate, inseminate and birth new creations continually. My work may not be directly influenced by one other artist, or one school of thought, but when I am drawn to a person's work, or a particular viewpoint, my explorations can impact how I think when I am composing a new painting.

Recently, I was delighted to come across access to podcasts of Artist Talks available for free on the internet from the Art Institute of Chicago. http://www.artic.edu/aic/visitor_info/podcasts/artist_talks/index.html

I immediately gravitated to the talk given by Rhonda Wheatley on Cy Twombly, an artist whose work has always intrigued me. As I listened to Wheatley, I found her web site (http://www.rhondawheatley.com/) which illustrated for me the compelling connections between her work and that of Twombly.

Artists may share the same stimuli and explore identical themes, yet processing the information through the filter of their own experience, they produce unique work. Like my double shell pink african violet, the influences of border plants have had an effect, but the outcome is an uncommonly lovely flower.

Biography

My friend Linda and I attended an art marketing workshop in Charlotte, North Carolina not too long ago. For over 4 hours we listened to a gallery owner from Scottsdale, Arizona speak to his class of 50 eager artists. Jason Horejs introduced himself as the son of a full time artist, and as someone who had always loved the gallery side of "the business." After working in galleries for several years, he opened his own, Xanadu Gallery, in Scottsdale. He discovered, to his dismay, that most artists had no concept of how to approach a gallery. His desire to help artists achieve their goals led him to write a book called "Starving" to Successful The Fine Artist's Guide to Getting Into Galleries and Selling More Art.

His seminar was his book brought to life, and my friend and I carried home new energy for approaching our goals in the art world. One of the many suggestions we were given that day has had quite an impact on me. He proposed that every professional artist needs a biography, written in third person, describing how s/he has come to make art. Much more than a resume, a biography can speak to a collector on a personal level, creating an understanding of the artist as a person.

Writing a third person biography was a challenge for me. All my self doubts rose their ugly heads, mocking me with their mumbling insinuations about my small education, and a long list of "I'm not good enough" thoughts. But I was so encouraged and inspired by the Horejs seminar, I stifled them all and began writing about my life as an artist. Although it took me over a week of continual revision, I found strength in my own story and my new capacity to explain what and why I paint.

I have posted my biography on my web site and of course hope that potential buyers will read it. I have given my galleries a new tool for selling my work. But perhaps the most valuable facet comes from having written it. I now have a stronger understanding of my progression as an artist, and how events as well as my own dedication have strengthened my desire to communicate with my art.

falling in love

I began reading two new books today. One is an audio book, the other is traditional. Between the library and my own bookshelves, I have more than enough reading material for several lifetimes.

Yesterday I began five new paintings. Actually, what I did was to paint oil gesso over older work that no longer satisfied me. I guess you wouldn't actually call that painting, but it really is a new beginning. The first step into new work, just like the first page in a new book.

It dawned on me today that I always like to have some "space" for savoring the books and the paintings that I've just finished. There is something satisfying about remembering a story well told, the depth of the characters and how they lived with me for a time. I also take a great deal of pleasure in walking by my newest paintings, even as I think about sizes and subjects for my upcoming explorations. My most recent work is always my favorite for a time, and can stymie new beginnings if I let it. Oh, the doubts that creep surreptitiously into my good intentions...how did I ever make such a wonderful painting? How can I ever be successful again?

But I have to paint! So I take the plunge and before long I'm deeply involved in the problem solving and intuitive gestures that layer by layer create my next new favorite! It is the same with books. I find myself wandering through the shelves of choices, still thinking about the ones I've just finished, knowing it will be difficult to find one to compare. To compensate for my struggle, I choose more than one and begin them all. It takes the pressure off. That's why I like to give myself more than one canvas at a time. I can "play" a little more freely with what I like and don't like, and see where the journey takes me. Reading and painting, I fall in love again and again. What could be better?

wordless

"Wordless"
Oil on canvas, 40 x 30"


Ever since I took the Bonney Goldstein workshop this summer, "Working the Surface," at Castle Hill in Truro, I have been overflowing with experimental notions and play. It has really helped my art. Getting rid of that critical voice...well, let's be honest...it's more like I'm talking BACK to that critical voice, has freed my inner audacity. Feeling the heat of my ardor and imagination, I have given myself over to the process like never before.

During a recent studio visit from a friend, I was rewarded by her appreciation for my enthusiasm as well as my results. Oh, how I eat up those kind words. Knowing that my passionate resolve was recognized, nourishes my determination to continue my explorations.

Art Group

Almost two years ago, a few of my artist friends and I began meeting on a monthly basis to share information about marketing opportunites, materials resources, and personal experience in the "art world." Our group has remained small by choice, so that our conversations can be productive and supportive within the confines of 1 1/2 to 2 hours. Having the encouragement and assistance of like minded friends has been a benefit to me in both tangible and intangible ways.

I also feel pretty fortunate to be part of an ENORMOUS art group...the internet. I've connected with artists that I've never met, but admire, and have learned a lot from information shared in blogs, on social media, and on web sites. I now consider my time on the computer to be part of my continuing education. The only difficulty is confining the time spent to an hour or two at the most.